almost done

School is almost finished for those of us that attend a public institution. Really I'm just going to throw this out there, I'M NOT EXCITED. Yes, I do want to be done with the work part of school but I'm in no way looking forward to summer. Actually thats not true. I'm looking forward to schwa but that is different and doesn't count here. The reasons why are as follows...

1. As soon as school gets out I am once again, homeless. My friend Rebecca and I are looking for places in Corvallis but the pickings are slim. She isn't going to have a car next year so we have to have a place that is close to campus. It has to be cheap because I spend all my time playing ultimate and can only manage a part time job. I need a job! I really really don't want to live in Eugene over the summer. The only things that are attracting me to Eugene are the chance to help run youth league and my dog. I think that if I can't find a place in Vallis, I'm moving to Portland. I have a place to stay up there and I will have a car, so things can work out.

2. For some reason the people that I consider my friends, have this huge, unrealistic vision, of a summer filled with splendor; and, to an extent, glory. It's one of those, "this will be a summer for the books" type of things. Now, I'm not trying to bring down anyones hopes here, and I'm not trying to be cynical (Jay if you're reading this, insert a mental note here). I honestly, just think that this summer is going to unfold in much the same way as did winter break. At least for me. Winter break was not fun, again at least for me. Note to the people I consider my friends and note to my haters (despite the fact that the ones that be hatin' probably don't read this), I AM NOT SO NAIVE!! PLEASE SOME CREDIT WOULD BE NICE! I understand the way you all work. The inner mechanics of "the circle". What you don't understand is that, so long as you don't use me when you want and ignore me when you don't, I can be a pretty damn good friend. I don't have a lot going for me but I can say that confidently. The choice is up to you. I wish all of the people I consider friends the best summer they've had thus far.

3. I'm not the one with the choice to make. He is. We both know it. Hell, he already knows what he is going to say and I'm pretty sure I do as well. The problem is that he doesn't have the balls to say it and I don't have the balls to hear it. I did once but i got blown off. (I almost just choked to death on a bastard sunflower seed as I was writing this. hahah that would have been hilarious) There aren't very many places this can go. Backwards is unfortunately not one of the possible directions. I wish it was. I have so much regret here. I have so much regret for so many things that happened this year. But that, I'll save for my next post. Right now, I'm hungry!

Peace n' love homedizzles.