Roller Coaster Weekend

I really wish that I had the ability to just slow life down. Then maybe I could breathe.
Do you ever experience that? Where you just get so overwhelmed that you feel as though you can't breathe. There were quite a few times where I felt like that this weekend. It was a very long weekend!
I'm not angry anymore... but I don't know if that is a good thing. I think it is better to be angry than to be indifferent. That isn't to say that I am indifferent, because I'm not that either; in all honesty I don't know how I feel and I don't know what to think. This weekend didn't get me any closer to making a single one of the multiple decisions that I need to make. I have a lot to do, a lot to decide, and not a lot of time to do it in. Sometimes I wish that someone could do this for me or that the answers were spelled out somewhere, waiting for me to happen upon them. Ha.
Next weekend is "Dad's weekend" here. I invited my step dad (who technically isn't really my step dad). How do I introduce him?...
"Hey guys, this is the one guy that has ever actually been a father to me and now he is up and leaving just like the rest of them. He and my mom are splitting up and this is probably the last meaningful time we will ever spend together. So, how about that game of patanque?"
Hmmm... Not sure that will go over so well.

I can't sleep. I hate it. I have stress stomach. It is remarkable how similar stress sickness feels to motion sickness. I quite literally feel like I just walked off a roller coaster after having to much to eat right before. I feel weak. I feel blah.
I have found a little bit of inspiration and strength though, in a very remarkable place. Kathy, Ciera, Lisa and I all took a trip to the coast today. It was so refreshing. Just what we all needed.

Fresh air, care free, happy. Wind, sand, shells. Waves, laughter, love. Strength, inspiration, happiness.

I will get to the story by John later, not really up for it right now.